There is a serious split between people who have been brought up in a loving environment and have been taught a moral code and those people unfortunate to have been abused as a child.
For those brought up in a loving environment, you should be able to trust your inner voice as to what is acceptable. Just remember that doing good is repaid in this world. For those who have a blacker view of the world and want to make others hurt like they hurt, I hope the following might help.
Now for the difficult part.
There are people who see kindness as a weakness. These people are very rare. Much rarer than you might imagine. If you want people to treat you well now, then you need to be kind. Kindness begets kindness. By being kind you will be treated better by those around you. Even if you are competing at the very top levels, by being kind you will have more support from other people than if you are mean.
So for those people who have suffered a childhood of abuse. Follow these three steps:
- If you are being abused right now, then get yourself somewhere safe. I would not recommend government agencies as they do not have a good reputation. Only use the government as a last resort. If you are young, talk to a teacher.
- Practise Loving Kindness Meditation. Every day is best, but just practice when you feel able. Remember abuse is a problem coming from the abuser. You do not deserve any abuse at all. The majority of people will give you love. When you show love, love will come back to you.
- Be patient. If you are kind to people they will be kind to you. It may take you time to feel comfortable always being kind, but it will happen. Concentrate on step 2 and this will speed things up for you.
In this world you will enjoy the world best when you are receiving kindness. To receive kindness means to give kindness. Be kind and you will enjoy the world more.